Body Parts

Toes

 
Toes freed of shoes
Rarely fail to amuse
A slyly observing
Bystander,

As they twiddle,
Cheerfully canoodle,
Stand at attention, or
Meander.

Sweetest of toes

 Are those one fondly knows,
Whose owners do view them
With candour.

Could be, perhaps,
There’s some toe-fetish chaps
Who desire such toes set
In amber!

 

In Praise of Saliva

Spit is versatile, as mothers well know.
It love-cleans a baby’s face in a trice,
Can be hate-hurled at the foot of a foe,
Smoothes the way of the knife-grinder’s device; 
And may even, perchance, banish warts. 

 

In Praise of Arms

 
Arms have it all
Over shoulders. 
Shoulders just shrug;
Arms warmly hug.
 

About Eyes

 
The bard claims they’re windows to the soul.
I’m not convinced of that, if he meant
That one looks into them and spies truth.
I’ve seen too many bland, unblinking,
Lying eyes - from Mother to salesmen.
But then, ‘tis true, I did perceive a
Son-loving soul in her bright blue gaze;
But never, ever in a salesman’s.

 

In Praise of Tongues

 
Tongues have a multiple role.
Their tasks are to taste a lot,
Lick a bit, casually loll,
And help one say, ‘Arbuthnot’. 

Concerning Heads

 
Heads are important:
There’s not much
Doubt about that.
For losing one
(Whether
Literally or
Metaphorically)
Is indisputably
Inconvenient. 

 

On Ears

 
It’s been well known for years
That the thing about ears
Is less their astuteness
Than whether they’re flappy,   
Or verging on cuteness. 

 

Of Brains

 
A brain really does matter -
Provided, of course, it’s not
Also bird, half, or scatter.

 

In Praise of the Nose

 
As part of a face,
A nose has a place
In its own face’s
Identification.

They differ so greatly,
Hooked, flat, cute and stately,
With nostrils of diverse
Flarification.

Then there’s the sniffs and blows,
Of a half-decent nose,
Which may well provide some
Gratification. 

 

In Praise of Teeth

 
Thank heavens for teeth that
Bite and masticate food.
But that’s not all they do.
As well, they hold pillows,
Cut cotton, and also
Retain parking tickets. 

 

 

The Independent Gum

 
A tooth without a gum
Is unthinkable.
A gum without a tooth 
Is believable.
Ergo: gums don’t need teeth!
 

In Praise of Lips

 
Lips, so flexible,
They tighten, tremble,
They purse and they pout, 
Open for a shout,
And close for a kiss -
Mostly. 

 

In Praise of Throats

 
Throats are useful for clearing
And coughing and talking,
Singing and breathing
And, p’raps most of all,
Swallowing.

For the absence of swallow
Would make one feel hollow; 
And for most of us
That would be truly 
Harrowing! 

 

In Praise of Chins

 
No-one I know talks about chins.
Sometimes I wonder why that is so.
For chins are important because 
They’re sorely needed by beards and jaws.

 

Chests

 
The charm of chests
Entirely rests
On whether they
Do or do not
Incorporate breasts.

 

The Neglected Knuckle

 
What’s to be said about knuckles?
Nothing, if one reads the press.
They don’t generate chuckles,
And always fail to impress 
(Except when pugilist-owned). 
But, sans them, how can one score,
Needing to knock on a door? 

 

Of Nails

 
Fingernails are great for scratching 
Itches, spots on pots, and raising
Stiff pocket-knife blades.

Toenails are entirely lacking 
In such virtues - unless kicking 
Is given high grades. 

 

In Praise of Fingers

 
The thing about fingers
That certainly lingers
Is the way they grab, clasp,
Clutch and finally grasp
Whatever they will.

But one has to confess
They can also caress, 
Pull triggers, make music,
Point out, punch a speech, and
Dig snot from a nostril.

 

Elbows

What’s there to say about elbows?
They’re useful for leaning, nudging,
And perhaps when it comes to blows. 
But, all in all, they’re rather dull. 

 

In Praise of Stomachs

 
A stomach, there’s no doubt whatever,  
Is plainly an organ to treasure
Because it affords so much pleasure 
When full. 

 

Of Buttocks

 
Who can doubt the importance of buttocks
When retiring to a seat on the loo?
But that’s about all that they usefully do -
Unless (pour les hommes) they’re of feminine ilk
And clad in tight jeans or fine Shantung silk;
Or (pour les femmes) they’re of masculine sorts
And clad in tight jeans or brief football shorts. 

Spleens

 
I understand spleens,
Figuratively,
But not what they do,
Physiologically.

Yet whatever they do do 
(As told in old Liverpool)  
Almost all of them do it 
With style and verve, as a rule.

I find that most comforting. 

 

Hair

 
Heads of hair, dark, brindled and fair, 
Poets often praise and compare.
But hair, arm, pubic and nasal,
Tends to elude such appraisal.

 

The Humble Hip

 
In youth, our hips are ignored,
There seems not much to applaud.
Views radically alter,
In old age, as they falter
And appear high on the scale  
Of bits most likely to fail.
 

Ankles

 
Such joints, unless sprained,
Are often disdained, 
Which grievously rankles 
Admirers of ankles. 

Of Thighs

 
It’s long known that some thighs
Agreeably surprise
(Sometimes, perhaps, seeming
A tiny bit shocking)
When respectably clad   
In lacey black stocking. 

 

The Heart/Brain Problem

 
A functioning brain
And a functioning heart
Are vital to the human condition.
But there’s no guarantee whatever
That either will lead to cognition.

Poor Old Backs

 
Though just as essential as fronts
(Imagine a front without one),
They rarely earn much more than grunts 
From a public fixated on
Celebs and their full frontal stunts.